22 February 2008

Reflections

As my students pointed out, this blog of mine is overdue for an update. I like blogging. I like it not because of any exhibitionistic instinct that causes me to want to share my life and thoughts with the public, but mainly because I find it a suitable catalyst to make myself reflect upon my life and my aspirations. I keenly believe that self-reflection is the joy of life after a fulfilling struggle. The lack of a blog entry also indicates that I was probably overwhelmed by the demands of daily life that I neglected self-reflection.

With that, I thank you who prompted me to update.

My Family Life:

I have to mention Chinese New Year celebration here. Nothing out of ordinary here besides the usual fare of growing nephews and niece, as well as aging aunties and uncles. It is a reminder of the unceasing flow of time and our mortality.

My dad had been home for a few months already. I am still not able to communicate comfortable with him. When necessary, I can always speak to him, but I do not feel any motivation to initiate any conversation. Some of my paternal relatives whom I had not seen in years finally came to visit during the Chinese New Year. I had not seen them for years ever since my dad went to prison. It was awkward entertaining them.

My mum is healthy. For that I am grateful.

My brother got a promotion. Good for him.

My sister is still living a relatively comfortable life.

My Love Life:

This topic will naturally go to Valentine’s Day. Well. No celebration. She was overwhelmed by her job and her involvement in Chingay for the past few months. So much so that her fatigue had rendered her unable to celebrate this day dedicated to love.

It pained me deeply to see her buried under her fatigue. Yet at the same time, I was helpless about it. All I can contribute was to offer to be her personal chauffeur, ferrying her whenever she needs to. I hope that helps even a bit to lighten her burden.

My Religious Life:

I have to admit that I had spent less time with the Gohonzon for the month of February compared to January. This is something that I must rectify for the month March. To my Soka Gakkai friends who read this blog, please remind me.

I will be one of the hosts for our coming 3.16 commemorating meeting. I am rather excited about it. I am also taking a Buddhist examination in 2 weeks time. But I haven’t prepared for it yet. Need to get down to it soon.

I am also taking a back seat with regard to NYPSD. This is due to the emergence of Daniel over the past month. I am really happy for him and is ready to totally trust him to give NYPSD a boost before he flies to Australia. Jin Wen should be even more ready by that time. I am seriously thinking I can graduate with a peace of mind. Cheers.

My Work Life:

I took Meng Kiat’s advice. I focused on my core business ever since the beginning of the new school term. I spent a lot of effort on my regular teaching. I prepare way in advance and ponder hard on how to motivate my students to enjoy the process of learning mathematics. I am not too sure how effective my methods yet but I find myself loving my job more than a year ago.

But of course with such priorities, I admit that I slowed my pace in my other duties. Among them are my CCA, my Student Leaders, the Speech Day, Math&Science Week preparations, Work Reviews. LMS, Cyberwellness, Webmaster, Etc.

I know that it will eventually come back to bite me and may hurt my standing with the management and my co-workers when they have to “rush” me for work due to my new pace. But the advice is making sense to me. I will want to be a super-efficient Education Officer, no doubt about it. But I must not be impatient. Focus on my core business first. Then slowly learn to expand from there. Trying to rush everything will only lead me to the thought of changing career again.

There! A summary of the happenings in my life for the past 2 months. Self-reflection is a refreshing mental exercise. I do need to do this more often.